Aynouk Tan maakt een parodie op het vrouw-zijn

The power of the patriarchy lies in our language, self-evident truths and humor.

Interview by Lisa Goudsmit

Aynouk Tan works as a fashion journalist, curator, presenter and teacher. She campaigns – among other things with her clothing – against an inequality between the sexes that is expressed in obviousness, humor, language use and manners.

What is your definition of feminism, Aynouk?
‘Feminism indicates that there is no equality between the sexes, we do not have the same opportunities and rights in economic, social and political areas. There are many examples that confirm this. For example, I recently watched De Wereld Draait Door in which Paul Witteman led the Lower House. Two male party leaders had a heated discussion, after which Witteman said: ‘Now ladies, calm down’. Apparently ‘ladies’ is an insult to men; it refers to bickering, hysterical women. The audience laughed at it, that says enough. Or think of nipples: why do we hide them on Instagram with women and not with men? I have experienced several times that a police officer called me ‘little lady’, so derogatory! Or that we are whistled at on the street and find that normal. All these differences characterize our time, society and manners. The main difference with the feminism of the 60s, in my opinion, is that obviousness: the subtle inequality between men and women and the power of the patriarchy is in our humor, language and rules. These seem like small things, but they are not. Together, these small things define our social manners.’

How do you deal with this?
‘Feminism is in my intersectionality. In my struggle for emancipation, I take into account the fact that you have to see your own position in a cultural, historical and economic context. I look at the causes and relationships of the different norms, values ​​and forms of interaction between men and women and I react against this with my clothing, among other things. Women are mainly seen as bodies: they have to be beautiful, meet an ideal of beauty. I make a parody of being a woman and at the same time I question what you should look like as a person. If a man wears a miniskirt, that is not normal, if I put on a clown suit, that is not considered normal either.’

Has your clothing style – and therefore the way you address inequality – changed in recent years?
‘In recent years I have become much more aware of my femininity as such . I have many friends who do not want to identify as male or female. That inspires me because I identify as a woman, but also want the freedom to embrace different physical characteristics. I am more appreciated when I look feminine; you get compliments on nice heels or lipstick. If I grow a moustache, eyebrows and wear flip-flops, I don’t get nearly as many compliments. However, I now also try to incorporate masculine influences into my outfit, but then combined with feminine elements because I still want to meet a certain ideal of beauty – there is that inequality between men and women again.’

Do you also notice this inequality in your field of work, the creative industry?
‘In my discipline I work with many women, queers , gays and transgenders, but I do notice that when I have to talk about money with men, for example, I adopt a certain modesty that is encouraged in women from birth. In such a business conversation I am very aware of that conditioning and role of modest woman that I still want to step out of. You are not supposed to be assertive or aim high. At the same time: how you feel, that is how you are reacted to. If I am assertive, people react to me differently – especially men.’

What further gains can be made in fashion and art when it comes to the position of women? 
‘I think it is very important that there are diverse representations of women in the media. Why do all those women in magazines look the same? Why are they all tall, blond and slim? In this way, the image of women becomes dogmatic and a straitjacket and women experience pressure to look like that.’

How do you notice the different approach of men and women in your private life?
‘In the relational spheres – I have been with women and men – there is also inequality. If you have a boyfriend and men flirt with you, they immediately keep their hands to themselves when you tell them. If you, as a woman, tell them you have a girlfriend, you are approached as a porn object “so, nice”. A lesbian relationship is taken less seriously, due to the objectification and sexualization of women. Very annoying, but if you indicate that it bothers you, you are a sour, angry feminist.’

What does International Women’s Day mean to you?
‘A lot. We need to talk about the latent inequality between the sexes. Our feminism is less simple than it was in the 1960s. For example, white feminism is not the same as black feminism: a white woman from Hilversum has different ideas, opportunities and positions than a woman with a migration background. Awareness of this is important. The fact that you have not experienced something does not mean that another woman has not experienced it.’

Do you think there should be a quota for women in certain workplaces?
‘Yes. We have known for years that there should be more diversity and equality in high positions. It is not happening, so we have a quota. Apparently ‘ladies’ – just look at the House of Commons – is an insult; as long as these ideas exist, fewer women will be in high positions.’

Who do you think is currently making a difference in the area of ​​emancipation?
‘I am a big fan of Sylvana Simons. It is ridiculous that there is so little diversity in Dutch politics. Never before has a black woman held a high position in the House of Representatives, that really needs to happen. I think Sylvana is incredibly brave: you have to be very strong to hold your own amidst all that criticism. As a woman, you are not allowed to be angry and fierce. Wilders is only angry, no one objects to that, but with Sylvana it is constantly about the way in which she speaks and how she looks. And women of color are simply treated differently.’

You yourself are not a blonde, white woman. Have you also been treated differently than women who do look ’typically Dutch’?
‘I have a Chinese-Indonesian father, my real name is Ay Nouk Tan. I changed that in high school, because I was bullied for it. I am becoming increasingly aware that I too have been forced into a certain straitjacket in which we all have to look the same. We are in so many boxes: man-woman, white-black, and so on. My feminism is first and foremost about stepping out of that straitjacket of having to be a beautiful, vulnerable woman. I want to do business with men; to be fierce and courageous. I want to be who I want to be: if that is a squirrel, instead of a man or woman, that should be possible! Our boxes limit us. Women do not feel feminine enough, not hot enough, not horny enough. Men do not feel strong enough, not good enough. We project all kinds of expectations onto each other, so many people are unhappy because they do not meet a certain standard. By going beyond that norm (literally) in my appearance, I want to break through those taboos and the shame that they entail.’